A bit of a winge and then a slap

I feel great. Nothing major has happened, but i feel great, and thats major enough. The last few months have been testing and turning me inside out. Feeling closer to the hear and now, my appreciation for all things Turkish around me has risen out of frustrated hostility and cultural paranoia. At my weakest a month ago, i blamed everything else around me except myself, an easier thing to do than i thought.

The intense Istanbul population that once energized me started to suffocate me which soon followed with forgetting my manicured Australian public manners, if you can really call them that. I started barging my way through the busy streets in a 'dog eat dog' like fashion, rudely pushing past annoying cutesy couples that hadn't yet learned how to share a foot path.

My previous form of transport, ferries, were a pleasure and an escape from the cities madness if only for 20minutes. The buses that i now have to catch are spent licking the sweat of a middle aged men's brow's, and catching old ladies after being thrown around the bus by road rage ridden bus drivers.

The blatant stares that Turkish males seem so bad at concealing, went from a 'its just harmless naivety' understanding, to a 'Ne?' (what?) approach, or staring back just as blatently untill they understand how weird it feels to have two eyes eating their complete energy. Highly recommended tactict in fact, as long as their not too young and horny where it can result in them being even more turned on and tailing you all over the city streets.

Then there were my worst days, when a simple Turkish word muttered withing 5 meters of me would drive me into total culturally hostile insanity. My once thirst for conversing in a new language had left the enthusiasm room and my way of dealing with it was by watching the trashiest of Hollywood films where I'd somehow created a romantic vision of cheesy New York affairs and self obsession.

So, i am happy to reveal Oprah, that those days of cultural dieting are over and i am back on the scales in light of a healthier future. Bring on the sardine style buses with sweaty armpits perfectly inline with my well tuned nose, Hello stares from undersexed men and good morning dictinary, are you ready for a workout?

Thanks to those, who sat, listened and consoled. You know who you are.