Lost In Translation

Two weeks ago i was siting in Charls de Guile airport waiting patiently for my Turkish airlines flight. I sat down amongst my 'fellow' Turkish jet setters, and felt an ease that i wasn't expecting. It felt so good to be around Turks again, even though most of them were belly bulging, lip quivering, eye boggling middle aged men- when they spurted out those familiar sounds it hit me that i was one step closer to my man and his land.

Two and half hours later i get a glimpse of twinkling lights, the plane lands, U2 comes on the Ipod and i turn into a blubbering mess. Oh fuck I'm here, am i here? I'm not sure yet let me touch that egg head and then i might be convinced. Oh my...... the egg was softer and definitely rounder than ever (mums cooking went down well obviously).
As you can imagine( but might not want to) the man and i had an incredible first few days together in saltehnmet (blue mosque area). Yes, i was in Istanbul but it was all just a lovely 'before sunset' image with the cobbled stone streets and Nargeile cafes as the set of a Corny, 'Get a room!' style movie.

Let me tell you though my first impressions hit me like a tone of bricks. Oh my, so magnificent, so beautiful. Not the kind of regimented beauty you would associate with Paris or Rome, but a kind of crazy beauty. Its an un-kept beauty where the history is deeply immersed in everything, the people, the places and the music make this cultural melting pot so dynamic. Might i say i was sold when we hit the bosphorus. Being a Sydney sider a city is not complete with out a big body of water smack bang in the middle. No matter how crazy a city is, if you go down to the waters edge everything is carried away on its salty surface and crazy is replaced with clarity. It was symbolic for me, and made think that, yes i think i could be happy here.

So after 3 days of roaming and romance it was time to face the family. With my pixy styled hair and pretty summer dress (below the knees of course) of we trotted off to give them what they have apparently been waiting for for 2 years. We pull up to the apartment building and there are two smiling faces pressed against the glass window. Ahahaha hehehe... ah i waved and giggled uncontrollably, mostly from nervousness and stage fright. Waiting at the top of the stairs they greeted me with open arms and two big wet kisses on each cheek. Ayshen (ma) and Uçel (pa) are absolutely lovely. That sat us down with a glass of chai and we somehow communicated with broken English and i threw in a few amature turkish words in. I received an ,'I love you' within half an hour, which i could only reply with an 'um, thanks'. Ha! Maybe i should have just said "sorry I'm an Aussie it'll take at least 6 months for an 'I love you' to surface". So they are happy as Larry, they have they're boy home and the chick who he found somewhere down south better hang around too otherwise hell will break loose.

So the first two weeks were spent being social butterflies. I met a great crew of utkus mates on his birthday, the theme being beer and Turkish rock. I met the extended family where i floated around the room like a disabled drunk sucking down gin and tonics nervously and just smiling and nodding, smiling and nodding. I went out with Ezgi, Utkus sister, starting the night with beer and fried mussels on the Bosporus and then met up with her friends and spent the night dancing on a roof top looking out over the whole of Istanbul. It was a wicked night and it introduced me to life .005% of people lead in Istanbul that, to be honest i don't want much to do with. Yes, i am a bloody feral hippy that thinks to much and should just get a platinum credit card and 'enjoy' myself. Well ain't going to happen my turkish sistas but hey lets have another martini, your buying ;)

In between all this utku and i went apartment hunting and found our haven for next however long. Hell yeah brothers and sistas! Have i got the pad for you. We are in a rockin area called Kadikoy. Its an artist hub with theatres, live music, markets and of course the sea a stone throw away. Our street is very central but more quiet than most here. It faces a beautiful historic church that was the main selling point for me. Most apartments with or without a terrace face unsightly objects eg. someones undies drying on the line or half demolish buildings. Its bloody huge too... a three bedroom pad so there is plenty of room for all you roaming worldly wollies. Lovin it. We've spent the last two weeks cleaning and painting it and getting all that annoying stuff organised. So we are just about settled now in an almost bare huge apartment. We have a kickass bed thanks to Ikea's opportunity (povo) section. The rest is slowly but surely making its merry way to our love shack.

So life is good kids but its not always sunshine and lollipops. Its bloody hard. You have no idea, nobody will ever know until they are in the same position. I know i discussed it so many times with you all but you can't prepare yourself for something like this. You have to throw yourself in and just try and keep your head above the water. The first unforeseen challenges have hit. Its hard to explain because i feel like words will only miss construe what i am really feeling. Naturally there are bad days and good days, the good ones have outweighed by far. This week has been tough, really tough. First of all, until i start my Turkish course next week i will remain a disabled, dependant child. I have never needed Utku so much. I always took pride in my Independence and individuality and it is sooo hard to rely completely on someone else. All communication is done through him and he is the only one who understand me and what i am going through. I am desperate for my schedule and to be able to communicate. This is all going to develop, all it needs is time and patience. Ill have a good base of Turkish in a few weeks and then ill start uni (taught in English) where im sure my world will open up. Ill be able to learn about this country critically. Ill meet people who are on the same page as i am and ill find my purpose and develop my artistic passion again. Its all going to happen kids and while i write this i am reassuring myself, setting it in stone in my head where it can't move. These feelings of isolation and loneliness will be momentary and of course 'will only make me stronger'.